Northside posted on Facebook that it is one month before school starts. They asked if we were looking forward to it. I really don't know if I am or not. I can tell you why. First there's the whole Michelle thing. Her death is going to really make the start of school at Carson a strange thing. Because of the time of her death, right after school got out, we have not had an opportunity as a staff to grieve. That is really going to put a damper on the beginning of the school year. On top of that, we have the Norma situation. Even though I have had three dreams in which I see clearly that Norma will be fine in the long run, we will all still miss her at the beginning of the year, and worry about her future.

On the other hand, I am looking to have the best year of my career. I am used to the two school thing, and I have great plans for really making a difference at both schools in technology.

What is nagging me, somewhere in the back of my mind, is that there always seems to be some tragedy befalling my family or my life in some way in August. I'm a little bit gun shy when it comes to that month. I just have to have faith that everything will be okay. Unfortunately, that's the main problem. My faith is a little bit shaky right now. I am still having some real issues dealing with Michelle's death. Everybody seemed to go off on their own summers as if nothing ever happened. I know life is for the living, but I need to be with people who can talk about it and come to terms with it.

In my heart, I know that my God is an awesome God. I know that He will be there to guide me and everyone else through this rough time ahead of us. Knowing and being comfortable about it, are two different things.

If anyone reads this, and you are feeling the way I feel about this coming school year, please reach out to me. I know that I was not best friends with Michelle. I know that there are others who are hurting more than I will ever know. Just the same, I feel strongly that all of us need to be able to get together, to sit down, and to talk about how we feel, in an effort to get us through this.