I have always believed that there are only three things we can do when dealing with other people. We can improve their situation in some way, leaving them feeling better than they did when we crossed paths. We can make their situation worse in many ways, leaving them feeling even worse than they already did. Or, we can just do nothing and leave them as we found them. I taught my elementary school students and my sons that good people always try to make things better for others, but that it is not our responsibility in all cases. Sometimes, acknowledging that we can not help them and walking away is the best choice. However, we should never make things worse for anyone.

As an older man, I look back over my life and think of times when I took all three approaches with people. I have definitely improved the situations of some of those that stumbled onto my path in need. I am proud of that, but not to the point that I want to share the information or sing my own praises. Those were private moments for me to cherish, and sharing them could embarrass those I helped- negating all the good I did by leaving them feeling worse than before I helped them. I also look back on times where I made someone's situation worse. It wasn't always done with that intent. It could have been by giving a look of disapproval. It could have been by sharing my opinion out of place. It could have been an attempt to help which was not well received. But, sometimes, I was just being mean. For some, I will blame youthful ignorance. For others, I will blame my own imperfect humanity. I truly regret those situations.

Doing the right thing by people is something I expect of myself. However, it is hard to rise to the occasion all the time. I wish I were a "vitamin person". That is my term for those rare people we meet with the ability of always making us feel better just by being in their company. I have known about five of these people in my lifetime. As I said, they truly are rare. They go beyond just being "nice people". They exude a sense of well being that is almost pharmaceutical. I won't embarrass any of them by calling them out by name. One of their charms is that they don't even realize how special they are. They are real people with real feelings and emotions, but somehow everything they do or say comes across in such a positive way that you feel great when you are in their presence. It is a positive energy that comes from deep within them, not just a personal choice to be nice to others. Maybe they have undeveloped gifts of healing. I don't know.